Gaps diet : year 3

(Français sous la photo) 3 years ago I was in NZ, sick like a dog, in so much pain in the guts that I couldn’t imagine eating another bite ever again. Trapped in a body that wanted me dead, with no way out. And I started the Gaps diet (for autists : no dairy and…

Allistics “don’t” mean it (but they do).

My mom came to visit recently. The usual circus : we had a few tense days, trying to adjust to each other. We failed, as usual, and fought, as usual, then had an open heart conversation (OHC), as usual. I always thought we failed to adjust because we’re different, and we live so far apart, and see…

Brave?

I recently realized that the past few years I had been trying too hard to mingle with people, with the result of loosing the sense of self, struggling to find a meaning to my life, and feeling like an utter, total, misfit. Plus, well, the failure of the Mission itself, of course. Why did I…

Intérêt spécifique – Version française

Les enfants autistes sont connus pour souvent avoir une forte fascination pour un domaine particulier, parfois plusieurs ayant un point commun. Toute jeune, j’étais fasciné-e par le fonctionnement des choses naturelles. Je m’absorbais dans l’observation des plantes, des insectes, des écorchés… Assigné-e femme à la naissance, autiste dotée d’une capacité d’analyse et d’une sensibilité au-dessus…

Being sick Vs Exhaution

I am currently in the 5th day of a period of sickness that started as what we might call “my exhaustion syndrome”, and turned into a proper labellable sickness (aka sinusitis). The exhaustion syndrome I used to have regularly before the GAPS diet. Once a month minimum, I would work too much, or eat too…

2 avril : tous autistes !

2 Avril, on y est ! C’est la journée (de sensibilisation) à l’autisme ! Les GRANDES questions : -> L’autisme, c’est quoi ? Le système nerveux central qui fonctionne différemment. Y’a des composantes génétiques, environnementales, et du système digestif. Oui m’sieurs-dames. Même si vous trouverez difficilement ces informations en france(-ais). De votre point de vue,…

Nobody’s fault – Part 1 : Loneliness and love at first sight.

I grew up knowing that every adult was perfect at what they were doing. Whether that was raising kids or teaching mecanics, being a headmaster in a school or making cheese. If it was what they were doing, they were the ideal at it. I knew that like kids raised in religion know deep inside…

Autism is a zoo

Oftentimes people ask me what it is, or what it’s like, to be autistic. I always give different answers, and I’m always telling the truth. The thing is, I know they want a quick, ready-to-use definition they can identify to and imagine they understand me with. But there is no such explanation. So sometimes, I…

Bin non (Things I don’t do)

Hier j’étais à un marché de Noël, pour soutenir une amie. J’aime pas les marchés de noël, c’est bruyant. Mais j’aime bien soutenir les amis. 🙂 Mon amie m’a présentée à un collègue. Il était sympa, amical, blagueur. C’était un bon moment. Jusqu’à ce qu’il me dise “Haa! C’est vachement mieux avec un sourire!” Je…

Banartichoke

Live my life with food. *Absurd-not-so-absurd*

Robots, aliens and humans.

I am a migrant. Perpetually. Always been, always will be. Even in my birth country, France. I never felt at home anywhere. Not ever. Not since I was 4. But even before then, I never new that was how I felt, because I didn’t know I was living in a body, in an embodied world….